Spring Gleaning

•April 22, 2008 • 3 Comments

Every day is Earth Day around here.

Having lost a wallet and learned that the finder has a girlfriend who decided to keep it (and all the i.d. to aid in starting up whatever accounts people that borrow identities do)….I find myself graspy, greedy.

An orderly pile of black Hefty bags hooked my right eye as I scooted past a dug-in driveway on that hill section of Surf Rancid Rake Blvd.
It’s Monday, the morning garbage is picked up. Now ’twas afternoon, and the cans were empty, but the pavement around them is heaped with “treasure” begging to be inspected.
I think: “Just a quick look-over“.
One peek into a well-tied sack, and I become a swift, efficient gathering machine.
Half an hour later, with traffic droning by at about ten to twelve cars a minute, I have sorted things I can use from the things Everyone Else could use. Yeah, yeah, I ‘ll go back and tidy up tomorrow.

I didn’t take: Britta water filter (still in box–CC is bummed I didn’t grab it even though our water treament plant is 10x more sophisticated than the MMWD + Britta times Avogadro’s number), huge Gordon Bierschstein liter-and-a half glass, pillows, fine lamps. Men’s underwear. Sunglasses. Woven blankets. ANOTHER duvet (not sewn into baffles, more of a feathery lumpen bag).
Festoon the tall garbage cans with these as a sort of Sign to other Scroungers, who, despite the paucity of bicycle traffic on SF Drake, will espy something and move in for the take.

Some goodies were too big to haul, so I hid ’em.

I returned for the new blender, stainless “steal” dish rack with red accents, four bottles of booze (“green Hungarian”, Sambuca Romana and Remy Martin brandy). Three quarts of canola oil, barely used, brown sugar, mayo, butter, chicken stock, provolone, way too many(farmed) salmon steaks, ground beef, pork loin, more beef…isopropyl alcohol —-Charlie uses it in the shop—–brand new toilet brush, brand new broom, new rugs, stainless Revereward saucepan, kitchen towels, sponge, “fantastic” kitchen-cleaner (“Now with Bisphenol A!”).
Judging from the piles of new books on religion (“How to make your religion contagious”) and the many bags full of medical industrial samples (damn! No EPO) and drug company notepads, he’s a born-again carnivore drug company rep who fries his dinner, washes it down with brandy, and uses brand new ivory white bath towels to mop up after himself. He’s also in a bit of a rush.

In fact, he is so late for his rendezvous with The Rapture that he had to toss the contents of his apartment.
He was clearly not a pennypincher: at the bottom of one bag, a tupperware tub full of pennies/ nickels/ dimes, rather sticky with spilled dish soap.

Money laundering?

Our town has a machine that eats coins and spits out a chit for 90% of the value…I’ll get some decent Dr. Bob’s or Green & Black ice cream. Charlie has guessed it’s twelve bux worth, I have guessed two dollars and forty two cents.

The rest of the day for me was contentedly sorting and putting it all away.

Supper out in the yard: a pile of salmon with tortillas, iceberg lettuce chopped w/mustard greens, wasabi +mayo and fresh lemon…now I’m waiting.

Waiting to see.

Enraptured.

Had it–hid it–and lost it–in San Francisco

•April 21, 2008 • 1 Comment

David Baker powers Margarita Blenderbike ( my bike & soon-to-be-lost left pannier in background)

Big Weekend.
Visit from a D.C. wombat (Anna Kelso, whose bicycle life is noted here) on Thursday, bound for a big race somewhere.
Friday, finally unfurled a gift certificate sent two years ago, on the occasion of my 50th b.d. from a secret 1970’s-era admirer (massage in a bottle!) Sweaty and disheveled, I locked up ye olde Breezer and entered a veritable harem of women silently gliding in and out of steamy rooms, scrubbing salt into their skin, basking in the calm of Kabuki Hot Springs. All sizes, ages, durometers. Even a couple of different colors but primarily pale.
Then a spin downtown to David Baker & Partners architecture firm, where I got to learn how to blend a margarita on the back of David’s extracycle (I think that was it, see him on board in accompanying picture that isn’t “accompanying” close enough).
It was an unusuallly temperate San Francisco evening.
a couple hundred people came to support Walk San Francisco, a pedestrian rights non-profit. It was a perfect mix of urban professionals and ultra-urban, rather much younger bikers from the SF Bike Coalition whose annual budget is enviably plump.
The atrium was the perfect bike parking spot for an early arrival, and for safekeeping I put my tiny red wallet in the pannier pocket, rather than letting it lie in my un-cinched Messyger bag.
Bustled out around nine, and stayed at Lynne B’s fine old tyme house in Bernal Hts.
Next day I noticed my left pannier was …absent.
It had bounced off (a well-loaded pannier, even when spring-loaded onto the rack, can boink off, and if the contents are soft, you have no clue…)

I didn’t notice the loss til ten hours later.
New gyrations, starting with asking the first cop I saw on Valencia “what do people do when they find your purse if it drops off your bike?”
The cop in the passenger seat said :”they keep it”.
“OK, so no protocol, no city l’austin found, etc?”
“Well, there is this…” and he proffered a scrap of paper with all the main police departments listed with their phone numbers. Lost items, buried at the bottom of the list.
“They are only open during regular business hours!”

“Thank you!” i mimicked cheer, and pedaled despondently away early Saturday morning, toward a walletless weekend.
At least a DESERVING person got my 150 bux. I usually carry twenty clams max in that thing.
I broke that rule when I got paid for a recent private session…Never having lost a wallet, I didn’t realize that any deviation from routine gets the god’s attention and obliges them to sharpen up their Lesson Stick and whack out a lively tattoo of cascading Consequences.
Got home to hear a message on my machine.
Someone mumbled that “I ‘”might have lost something”.
After a day of non-answers, I reached a homeless gentleman who says he’d like to return my stuff…but ….
after I suggested he drop it at the local ‘scarbucks’ rather than take it to me personally (“I’d sure like a trip out of the city” he hinted unwisely) I realized he wasn’t kidding when he said he was lonely, six years under a bridge is a bitch, and any type of relationship is a human connection… and got the feeling i was going to get a taste of the ol’ dangling wallet trick (the victim bends over to pick it up and the perp tugs on a string. A chase ensues ) to get a person to become Very Interested.
It’s only been two days, and each “I’ll take it there in an hour’ has become a daylong vigil with no result.
Silly to care about a wallet, esp when it wasn’t stolen (I’ve neither lost a wallet nor had one swiped, i’ve led a rather charmed life).

I called visa, library and DMV and began the process of Letting Go . Like the red one, the new (used) billfold has “if found, please call 459-0980…Win Generous Five Dollar Reward!” written in thick black marker.
My bet is the fellow won’t want to part with it in case I change my mind and decide to meet with him.
Any guesses out there?

2008 You’re A Peon World Tour!

•April 10, 2008 • 1 Comment
Lady Devorgilla Wept Here

Lady Devorgilla Wept Here


It’s official.

I’ve bought the ticket yesterday and am feeling the nausea/elation of clicking on the ‘purchase’ button (for someone who nearly never shops, this is somewhat huge) for a thousand dollar ticket.
That is ten percent of my…annual worth.

Visiting my favorite corners of the world (outside this little nook in Fairfax Calif) – Europe.

I’ll be collecting capital cities: London, Paris and Edinburgh – and maybe even Bern. Meeting the people – old friends and new. Long before my first airplane trip (at fifteen) I saw Europe through the eyes of the great M. Sasek, who wrote and illustrated over a dozen classic kid’s travel books.
There is a bicycle trail connecting the countries of the former Iron Curtain, and I’ll be researching parts of that trail for my 2009 ride the length (4,500 miles from Turkey to Finland)…details to follow…

On the way I’ll appear at the Edinburgh Bike Film Festival, take part in Bike Week, teach cycling skills to children and adults, write and research for more writing when I return.

I’m also angling for a couple of invites to National radio shows…Women’s Hour in prtickler.

Giant Pacific Salamander Spotted

•April 10, 2008 • Leave a Comment

giant-pacific-salIn the ivy’d undergrowth at Toad Hall, Mill Valley. It was one of those windy days where the perfume of the bay laurel flowers is stirred all around.

A smell-o-gram catches you by surprise.

A memory rushes in, and your heart soars without warning.

It’s spring…you’re ten again.

And there is an animal at your feet.

I was just writhing along” (sez surprised amphibian) “…and the next thing you know, I’m on my  back…“. Note to neophycyclists: JRA is “just riding along” acronym…famous in bicycle shops.  A “JRA” is a bike that has been wrecked for no apparent reason. Like non-maintenance, or ignoring loud rattle just before something vital falls off…

Gospel truth.

Reader/rider, there are very few of these beasties about. This one was about seven inches long, very dark brown-black, mottled with red. I have seen ONE in my life prior to this. Boy, was he strong.

Put ‘im in a clay pot, because I didn’t want to have to squeeze too tight. I HAD to show her to Carol, Mistress of the Haul (serious shopper, and also oversees Toad Hall).

“Oh, there it IS!” Carol (82 yr old grand dame) cried, “I haven’t seen him in fifteen years! He used to live under the front step.”

“I think maybe it was this one’s grandamander…cos they can’t live fifteen years, can they?”

There was no growl…this kind is capable of a noise when disturbed, but it just stalked slowly under the boards where I first found it.

Healthy habitat, that.

Finally an explanation I can understand

•April 6, 2008 • 1 Comment

fayreform1.jpg

For why we have sexist (and sexy-to-hetero men) advertising.
A study!!!
In the kind of language that does for me what speaking Morticia’s dubious French does to Gomez Addams…pant pant..ooh, scientific talk that I can only just barely follow…ooh…(see earlier Sapolsky blog).
Burt Hoovis (“Lance Armstrong Doped”) are u listenin’?
OK< Still can’t get images up…
But at least I can post this…. For the lay reader, there’s this fine translation from Seth Borenstein.
And wish me luck tonight: I address a crowd (OK, six people whom I personally begged to come) at Seabright Brewery in Santa Cruz thanks to Keith and LindaJean Cranmer, artist/sponsors who liked what they heard in Berkeley at Velosport last month…

Baboon Bothered By Doping

•April 5, 2008 • 1 Comment

But being unable to speak, all the baboon could do was threat-grimace, fling feces at the scientist that injected him with “the clear” and wait for the ‘roid rage to wear off.

This winter I’ve dived into everything I can find by Robert Sapolsky, the renowned neurobiologist and author of such brilliant books as A Primate’s Memoir and Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers.

The former is an account of his life among African baboons, and the latter a very funny and excruciatingly well-explained guide to how stress (often self-inflicted) has re-shaped the kinds of illnesses we succumb to.

Now that’s a very un-Sapolskian sentence, inelegant and slightly fuzzy around the edges.

But hey, I’m not a genius.

I just leave their books around, hoping that some sort of contagion will infect me with scientific
know-how, wit and possibly even publishability.

Lately I’ve been stressing about Not Writing The Book, and so a chapter of the great Sapolsky re-ignites the flame, and a blog–not a book–erupts.

Then a headline like the one above makes me run for the camera, pen a note to the biologist (addressed simply to “Sapolsky, Stanford, CALIF”) raving about his great books, then run out of steam when I can ‘t get the picture to right itself.

Or worse: WordPress decides to do a (Shimano-style) total ‘improvement/overhaul’ of the inner workings of this template.. .and I’m unable to figure out how to put a picture on this, let alone rotate it.

To you my rider/readers, I wish a good weekend. And to me, a tailwind of talent, an invisible guiding hand to ease this new (until the next big ‘simplification’ of the system).

Thank you Dr. S and thank you anonymous baboon, I hope they let you out of the cage some day.

Free Shoe Spree

•April 3, 2008 • 1 Comment

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Yesterday I saw a blue tub PACKED with brand new (mostly size 7 women’s, save that size 11 Doc Marten lace-up storm trooper boot) shoes.

Next to the bin, a sign: Free (and in tiny letters: ‘at last’).
This counts as an only in Fairfax moment.

Hence the careful mating up of the pairs, the arrangement on the curb, and the scary sensation that the corner of Blackberry and Creek might just be a dangerous one (there was a car parked right where my head was)…. the commuters were taking the turn pretty fast, and there I am in my usual Homeless Couture black winter coat, mess(n)gr bag, unlaced Shemano Shooz….
a rather disposable piece of street scene…

As I framed the shot a jogger came up and begged to buy the Doc Martens.

“No charge, m’dear, they’re not mine”…
“Perfect for Burning Man” she said.
She was a foot shorter than me and she insisted she had size elevenn feet.
Mine r nine, and that is considered very Platterishly big.
I shall never understand why it’s so damn important to have SMALL feet.
“Can you hide them in the ivy so they’ll be there when I get back?” she said as the golden retriever yanked her up the street.

“Of course”.
The shoes had remained there overnight, but the fascinating leather bowling bag, big as a doctor’s kit bag had been nabbed. It had been the only thing I could even imagine ‘needing’ (once the strange circular plastic platform on the inside had been torn out).
Ach.
After the shot, I jammed all the high -heeled shoes in my panniers (not the boots– I dutifully hid those in the tall weeds for the jogger to find) and headed to Solevation Armyboots.

Natterjacquie Toad (Bufo calamita)

•April 2, 2008 • 1 Comment

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Learned the true name of a European toad…the kind they have (tis mega-rare) in Edinburgh and a few other parts of the UK. Their official name was changed five minutes ago — while I was writing this blog– to: Epidalea calamita.

Chris Hill informs us that there will be a moment of silence for the Great Sheldon Brown and then a foray in search of toads trying to cross a road en route to the other side. Volunteer traffic marshalls will assist the slow traffic as they migrate those last scary meters to their breeding grounds.

Know what game these lowland toads fancy?

Hopscotch.

Preferably in the well-marked “Violators WILL Be Toad” traffic zones.

This toad’s niche is in open meadows and shores, where no other toads go…these guys (and gals) scamper rather than hop (this has been attributed to either extra-long or extra short legs in varying websites…such is the internet!)…and sport a natty yellow stripe (now I know we’re related) down its bumpy back…and their call is pretty mesmerizing.

About the newly changed name: those folks in academe wait til you’ve memorized the two part Latin name of an organism, then hold a convention to change it…they’ve taken a page from Shimano’s “let nothing remain simple” book.

Here’s yet another little concert.

Shangri-la in our own back yard

•April 1, 2008 • Leave a Comment

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Fairfax Town & Country Club has fascinated me since I first wandered in there, after living here for a decade…like everyone else on the bike path connecting the Ross Valley towns, I scooted past the entrance clueless about what I was missing.
Spent a few minutes enjoying the peaceful surrroundings (I was hunting for a certain friend, not home, so I took pix)…if you click on those bright white words above, you’ll be able to get a way better look at the place…
I truly wish Mr. Williams (as in Robin) or some such Dude of Scary Means would just endow the place, and let it become it’s own little syndicated magic fiefdom…a Scotswoman named Leslie Ridddoch did it for the Isle of Something off of Scotland…we should find our own champion to prevent the place from being wrecked.
(I am sure the forty-odd residents would love it to remain pristine and uncommercialized)…

The importance of heat treatment–a blatant puff piece

•March 26, 2008 • 3 Comments

unbaked.jpgOne of the attributes of my bike (the first non-traditional ballooner) was the strength of its fat tubed frame, as well as its fatigue resistance.

At the house of Cannondale, aluminum tube bikes had gently curvilinear tubing–unintentionally– and an annoying tendency to fatigue near the weld zone.

“There goes the neighborhood” we thought, and aluminum’s reputation was tarnished.

Then Gary Klein decided to make mountain bikes as well as his celebrated road bikes, and threatened suit us against us and Cannondale for breach of his “patent” on the stiffness of aluminum tubing…. It took some doing, but Charlie’s lawyer was able to show that a lifetime total of 175 custom bikes were no threat to Klein’s livelihood.
GK’s classmates at MIT pointed out their alu-bike was a team project and no single person was the ‘owner’ of the technology.
I don’ t know the outcome of the suit against Cannondale, since both parties always claim to have won.
Whatever that means!
Next step: patenting gravity.

Vacationing in Moab in 1986, I swapped bikes with a fellow who said he loved his lightweight Klein but that it ‘beat him to death’ on the rocky desert terrain.

In a minute of riding his, I felt what he meant, but couldn’t account for it since I’m mechanically retarded.

Later Charie explained why it might have felt more jarring: the tubes were nearly twice the diameter and presumably a bit thicker on a Klein…as a way of combatting the dreaded fatigue issue.

My ‘Ham didn’t behave that way. “Darren” went off feeling more “inKleined” to be charitable towards aluminum-the-material.

Proprietary recipes & processes plus a secretive heat treating ritual conducted over our fish pond would alchemize a freshly-welded frame from ‘butter soft’ (Charlie’s term is solution heat-treated) to “artifically aged”.

Charlie’s buyers didn’t have to return their broken frame each season, the way Gary Klein’s pro racers (and clydesdale riders) did.

Klein had a Free Repair/Replace policy, but it was hecka inconvenient to be without one’s steed for six weeks or so, whenever the frame developed a crack.

Which shouldn’t bring me to baking but since it was a special baking process that helped Charlie’s bikes feel ‘supple’ (yes, those silly adjectives sometimes actually describe the riding experience), I am compelled to write about ….cookies.

Chocolate chip cookies.

The national cookie (try getting one in Europe–no way. But of course they have about a hundred far better cookies to compensate).

My friend Robin Hashem has a (proprietary) recipe that if I would just follow to the letter I could make a decent cookie. It is not just the ingredients; it’s the process.

For example, she says “preheat oven to 325 degrees, then turn down to 300-315 degrees ….mix (secret) ingredients and bake slowly for ten to fifteen minutes”.

So intent was I on the correct adjustment of our irritable gas oven, I let my guard down in the ingredients department. Namely I succumbed to the subgenius impulse to toss in that tiny baggie of antiquated granola from 1973, to ‘use it up’.

Thereby imparting an unhappily stale note to a tray of cookies that shoulda, coulda, woulda been Hashem-perfect.

baked.jpgStill, the heat treatment visibly improved the cookies, as it does with the bikes (see enclosed pre-and post-treatment photos)… and despite that misguided impulse at the expense of freshness (anything scored in the last year is considered ‘fresh’ in my book)….the cookies were pretty good. They will not last, though.

And I pray there is no cookie-return feature with my modified, inferior product.