Heaven and Hail in Flagstaff AZ

•September 17, 2009 • 4 Comments

I’m perched at  the kitchen table  chez JOE MURRAY (file under:  ‘heinous name-dropping’) looking back at a couple days of fun with Morgan Fletcher and Lauren Haughey (Morgan+Lauren=Mogollon).

A beer, a fried eggplant sandwich (from Joe’s garden) and you, my readers,  reading through this little white laptop lent unwittingly by the lovely and talented Evil Kim Sargent (Joe’s wife).

Yesterday Joe took us on a nice two-hour ride up into the Fort Valley area, on “Dogfood” trail, which connects to “Hotshot” which links to “Newham” and then finished “Old Fucker”.

Charming trail names are courtesy of  “Night Mayor” of Flagstaff, Mark Gullo.

Along brick-red narrow trails scooted those two fast fellows, then me (the androgyne) and then two medium fast women. Testing our single speed bikes… alternately blinded by the setting sun, and the dust cloud caught in its  horizontal rays.  Considering the altitude (7000 ft and up) we did well.  Riding on permitted trails made me high, however.

I tried to imagine a network of narrow trails–flowy rhythmic ones, gnarly technical ones, lots of each, within a lazy ten minute pedal of one’s home…and having them be permitted…oh, I was having a daydream called Flagstaff.

Aromas of woodsmoke, pine duff, and soft dirt still linger in my hair.

Then today we rode the Arizona trail, under grumbly skies. Quite a different ride (no local guide, just us tourists, i.e. possibility of getting lost)…found the trail head, rode the most wonderful contouring and barely rocky trail through aspen, pine forest separated by bright blonde meadows.

We found wild flowers but not many…campanula was my favorite.

Our plan: out-and-back. Easy enough except we didn’t leave enough breadcrumbs. As we returned, thunder began to roll through the mountains and within the hour, it became clear we were riding toward it.

But I saw no lightning. Morgan did. By his calculations we had a 97% chance of surviving the ride.

Piling into the car, hail began to fall, and all the way down into Flagstaff (yes, we drove to the trailhead)  we admired drifts of hail along the road and our own good luck at missing the drubbing.

By four o’clock we were at Macy’s Cafe hangin’ with the Great And Generous Cosmic Ray, guru of the knobby nobility. I’d never met him, simply corresponded the last twenty years…heaven.  His friend Benny pulled up a chair and we all merrily passed an hour swapping stories about our travels. Mr Cosmic has a seventeen year old daughter who rides great long tours with her pa…what a lucky guy.

I’m Gonna Represent Frivolity For My Country

•September 14, 2009 • 1 Comment

bryanpicGetting things together for any trip is a thrill for this professional put-it-offer.
Somehow, attempting to take out the compost, which inspires a quick session of onion-planting (someone was tossing a pony pack of red torpedo onion orphans), which inspires a bit of garden-watering, while the tea water on the stove boils down by half.

It ‘a.d.d.’s up to one thing: a dozen things half-done.

Outside, Charlie diligently works on the “Pink Penix” ( my custom DeSalvo will have to wait to be unfurled next year, since my Shimano parts are still in transit).  Grease guard hubs require a grease gun…
I remember I need to have a helmet and the correct shoes. Trying hard to think what else I’d be lame to forget…hearing aids? I really don’t want to bring them but at some point I have to accept that I’m hard of hearing. Much easier to remember a yard of faux fur for a possible costume, or a tea thermos since I will be feeding the crew.  Polenta canapes?

Check. Fresh bread? Check. Local grapes? Check.

Oh, wait. It will be freezing in Durango (hey, I was there the week of Susan DeMattei’s  early October wedding, it SNOWED).  No, it might be really hot.
OK bring a gym bag full of everything.
Toothbrush. Right.

Happy pills? Screw them.

Ah, but somehow it works out. My travel companions, verily my ‘enablers’ (sparing me from driving) will be a tiny bit late so I can blog a bit.

Meanwhile, I’m securing lodging for our thousand mile trip: Joe Murray lives in Flagstaff, as does the redoubtable, and much venerated Cosmic Ray. Thus: a stop in Flagstaff (and hence the above picture, a flag, a tiny staff, a bad pun). Joe says he will compete in the Durango race, too.
I spoke with Ned a week ago.

He will be competing “as long as the weather’s O.K.  If it’s rainy, it will be hell. I’ll just start the race, and then peel off somewhere and have a beer (snicker)”.

My longtime  gone friend Adi Miro, the Cuban doctor and wombat-in-arms will be there. Since I can’t figure out how to open the thousand people starter list, I’ll just be pleasantly surprised at who shows up.

Downhill legend Elke Brutsaert will lead the ladies ride Thursday evening.

I will be conducting the usual Maison de Thrift, with otto-graphed Rockshox “boastcards” ($3 without ottograph, $2 WITH ottograph, heh heh),  custom re-purposed warm gloves, arm warmers, jersies, WOMBATS tee  shirts, patches, stickers, even a 42below jersey or two.  If it rains, this will be great since my stuff will easily compete with the fine second hand stores of Durango.

My hat is off to the gang producing a race for a thousand riders! Chad, Max, everyone…thank youuuuuu.

True Friendship… SCOTTISH STYLE

•September 8, 2009 • 2 Comments

Tired of insipid ‘friendship’ poems?

A little bird, well actually,  a  towering Edinburgh blonde shared this one… a series of promises that mean business.

Birds_collection_postcard

Be gone,  little smiley-faces!

Here’s what Scottish friendship means:

1. When you are sad —  I will help you get pissed and plot revenge against the bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue — I’ll  try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile — I know you’re thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.

4. When you are scared — I will take the piss out of you every chance I get until you’re NOT.

5. When you are worried — I will tell you stories about how much worse it could be until   you  STOP WHINING!

6. When you are confused — I will try to use only little words.

7. When you are sick —  Stay the hell away from me until you are well again.

I don’t want whatever you have.

8. When you fall,  I will laugh at you, you clumsy arse,
but I might help you up.

9. This is my oath…. I pledge it to the end. ‘Why?’ you may ask;
Because you are my friend.

Friendship is like pissing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

You are welcome to pass this on to a dozen  of your closest friends,

but don’t get depressed because you can only think of 4 .

P. S. American readers: “get pissed” means to get rather drunk.
“Taking the piss” out of someone means teasing them.

Piss is important. When you hear the word a lot, you’re no longer in England; urine Scotland.

Have Not Awoken Yet

•September 7, 2009 • 1 Comment

bikelover Two weeks since I arrived back at home.
Some of the gang kept right on going, and swear they won’t stop until the tip of South America!

Perhaps I stopped too suddenly after 4,200 miles of riding, day in, day out. Sudden deceleration CAN scramble the brain (ask anyone who’s hit a tree).

Maybe I’m sensitive to the ‘insult’ of quitting after two months of  18 mph for about 5-6 hours a day. Or was it 16 mph?

That’s irrelevant–only Corey cared enough to keep track of mileages and placings–I just know I’m tired beyond words.

Now and then, I’ll do an errand, and the floaty, dreamlike feeling that ‘this is not reality yet’ accompanies me down the quiet street. I am used to being shocked into waking up, paying closer attention, concentrating on hazards, dangerous possible scenarios, my risky choice of bicycling to the store, friend’s house, unemployment office (joke alert).

So far, no shocks to the system. I miss riding in a group. I miss having to pay close attention.
How can I get that wakeful, alert feeling while sitting at a desk, indoors?

I have to pull that book together (The Lady’s Cycling Companion)…I have a chapter already to go: “One Less Scar”,  drawn from experience.

Not neccessarily my own, since I’m pretty risk-averse.

No,  Other People are my experts.

They  skim alongside car doors.

Tap wheels with another rider and flip over the bars.

Zip around blind turns into–surprise!–Unanticipated Stationary Objects, and go straight to the hospital.

Ignore being dead-tired,

Ride without a light,

ride on a broken bike.

They look down, not at the road ahead.

Brake suddenly without remembering people behind ’em.

Oh, how wakeful one must be.

I rather wish I,  too,  had kept on going.

Odd Woman Out

•September 1, 2009 • 1 Comment

It didn’t bug me to be the olde Lady on the tour, the one who hates rap music, can’t hear half of what is being said, and only just learned what the affirmative “word!”  meant.

What bugged me was not getting to know all the women on the ride.

There were two rooms shared by seven women. My room had four, the other room had three. Living two-per-bed on  hotel nights is a challenge. Any quartet of people will disagree on things.

I thought I could get to know all six other ladies by taking up the one free spot in the other ‘dorm’, since three women had two beds.

I was wrong. Hadn’t planned on the unoccupied spot being a jealously guarded Asset, shared equally by the remaining trio. This would matter several weeks later . My only hope for getting to know the girls in the other room would be if Adrianna or Caroline shared a spot when the empty bed was theirs.

What idiot would give up the luxury of kick-free slumber?
Right: no one.

OK, so I didn’t get to switch rooms now and then.

My group consisted of  Surly Temple with Indigestion, K.D. Lung,   Mapster and me, the Ruler of All She Surveys.
The first two shared one bed (thank Goddess), and I got the nice kid.

On day one Surly announced, “The TV is to remain off!

I cheered inwardly, dreading that background/foreground drone, and thanking her for being the entitlement princess.

Alas,   within a couple of weeks, K.D. had on crappy sitcoms ( laugh tracks! EWWW!)  as she a) talked on the phone b) took a shower, c) wrote in her journal. Best place yet: in the kitchenette’s dishwasher.  I was found out (after we left, and I got a day of P & Q) and became a star on Facebook.
Thank goddess for Quies wax earplugs.

Then there’s air conditioning.  The freeze-yr-ass-off type. Bad for  your throat,  keeps you awake, and oh,  how poor ol’ Mother Earth groans under the energy burden!!  So I sabotage the thermostat now and then.

Aroma shouldn’t have been  one of the issues..yet for the first three weeks all Shirley and Athena  bitterly complained about how smelly the room was (picture a bomb scattering fast food shrapnel,  sweaty socks and shoes, damp jersies and shorts).

Then came a different kind of bomb.

On day four or so, fresh out of the shower, I crept under the covers  where Amicable was already asleep.

The next day, Surly said “I can’t belive how insensitive you are to climb into bed naked with  her…did you ever think it might make her uncomfortable?”
“Oh, God. You might be right!” I winced.

I told my amicable bed-mate Mapster how sorry I was to be so thoughtless  the previous night.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Surly said you were put off by my sleeping naked…”

“What? We’re all women.”

The next morning I cornered Surly …”why did you make up that story about Maps being weirded out?”

Her eyes widened,  her chin jutted out.
Well, not everyone is OK with nudity.”
“Then you could have told it to me directly.”
“You were naked. I can’t talk to a person with no clothes on.

“It seems so round-about.”

So, OK,  I developed some sensitivity, and wore clothes to bed.
Fast forward to the Midwest, where Shirl takes  her lover (The Traveler)  to bed with her, int the bed across from me. I don’t a problem with this–after all, love is what makes the world go around.

Though I did wonder what  my bed-mate thought. We each had sweethearts far, far away.

I said nothing. After all, they were wearing tee-shirts!

Then fast forward a few weeks. …I’d ridden about eighty miles, four summits across basin and range from Ely Nevada toward Eureka.  The final climb, Alex Dismore  told me about  Gray Harrison’s Earn-a-Bike shop in Wooster Mass. We swooped into town, and I was the first woman arriving . An unheard-of treat to have the room with two double beds all to myself for a nap.

Alex, Georgie, Joe and I roamed town and loaded up on great food at the “Pony Expresso” deli, where menmonite (and womenmonites) bakers slave over a hot oven. Real food, even real home-butchered lamb and beef…Nary a word was spoken as we mowed across big plates of homemade bread and sliced meat.

More riders dribbled in, along with kids from Bike & Build, that cool non-profit that makes homes as they ride across the USA.

A casual party erupted in the parking lot of the Sundowner Hotel. I pulled out my banjo and sat on my good feather pillow to withstand the chill on the brick flower-planters . Beers appeared. I asked Surly for one.

“No.”
“Then I’ll play my banjo”
The black asphalt courtyard grew livelier.

A P.T. Cruiser  pulled into the scene–twenty people freezing and partying (bikers sit around and fix bikes,. If there’s beer, that ‘s a party). A pair of dogs jameed their heads out of the window behind the driver.
“What’s happening?”

“We’re riding across the country” a couple of people said in his direction. I filled in some details, offered him one of the beers in Jo’s stash, and learned some of  life story down (he’s second generation Nevada hay farmer), we took the discussion across the street to the Owl bar.

I could hear  Surly shriek, ” Hava a nice NIGHT, JACKEEEE!!”

“Back in a couple! ” I replied.

At long last, a groan up I could sort of relate to (other than  Phillippe Guillerm).

My exact age, but what a different perspective. Willing to listen as well as to share a few tales, the way people who can unburden to a stranger sometimes do…

Three hours in a darkish place punctuated by the slot machine’s staccatto jangle,  and the murmur/guffaw/murmer of a dozen barflies. The smoke is thick, they don’t have California smoking laws.  The kitchen crew finally pulls out the mop.

So it’s about one, I’m fried. Going next door to the karaoke place is not an option.

I crossed the street (U.S. Highway 50, the lonely one–remember?) to room #27 and rapped lightly on the door and wait. And rapped again.

Surly opened the door, and faded into the black. It had been frigid outside, and it was great to be back indoors…I groped toward my bed, and my face met a solid object. A hand at the end of a stiff arm.
This bed’s taken”.

I tried to grasp the meaning as my eyes adjusted.
We assumed you were going to spend the night with your friend…you had a pillow an’ all…and three people gave up their beds for Foster and David. You lost your place“.

“Well no one told me” I said.

A random thought entered my mind as it raced to grasp at a rational explanation, a reasonable solution.  Just an hour ago it was Auguest eighth– Charlie and my twenty-first wedding anniversary.
“WE NEED OUR PERSONAL SPACE!” she hissed.
“Move over Dom…you’re cute” I said to her lover who wasn’t saying anything.

Then I looked hard at the other bed.
“Why are you looking at me?” asks Mallory irritably.

“Trying to understand, and to count bodies on your bed” I said, realizing that Kyla was there, too, perhaps asleep, perhaps not.

“Just give us some space!”  Surly repeated.

All my luggage, my sleeping bag, and my bike were in that room.  For some reason, rather than turn on the lights and raise hell, I just left.

It was thirty five degrees outside, and frost lay on the outdoor stairs.

The whole hotel was asleep (remember, all of us had ridden a longish day in the cold).

I had six hours to kill until daybreak.
Luckily the office was empty and unlocked.  I flopped on the floor, grateful for my pillow,  and huddled under the tweed coat.
Three hours later, when I left to pee in a planter, the door locked behind me.
I will let you imagine the rest.

“The Champagne Of Concrete”

•September 1, 2009 • 4 Comments

guy

Me and hilary champThat was what Readymix trucks used to have painted on their barrels.

Two guys came this morning to pour three tons–completing a two year project of Charlie’s.

I discovered that my (visiting)  friend Hilary harbors a cement truck er….fetish?  Fascination?

Whatever it was, she infected me with it, and we watched every little step. Check out the fellow dangling inside the funnel, like a piece of  pork about to get ground up. That was the first step: hang upside down in the funnel.

The guys were very quick, and had the grey ooze mixed and poured in about twenty minutes which gave me and Hil  little time to get ready for a proper concrete tasting.
Too bad the  slogan got tossed a decade or so ago.

“The champagne of concrete” has a nice absurdist ring to it.

Gravitas.

So delightfully tacky!

Now it’s just “Rich Readymix”.

Did the A.O.C officials.in France raise an objection?
Never mind; to me, it tasted wonderful.

Trip Photos Now on Flickr

•August 30, 2009 • Leave a Comment


Photo Joe Breeze

Start here and work backwards.

(Don’t expect chronological order…)

Back in California

•August 29, 2009 • Leave a Comment

[YouTube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ex5oiWGHjdM]

[YouTube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZU3WST1iz88]

“One Less Corpse”

•August 28, 2009 • 6 Comments
Worst Case Scenario--my rolex gets damaged

Worst Case Scenario--my rolex gets damaged

Now that I’m home I can reveal the forbidden thought  I set out with (shared by  my loved ones with overactive imaginations ): that I might not make it back to Fairfax.

In 4200 miles, I might be clipped by a car, mushed by a truck, or impale myself on a bit of rebar on a mountainous descent.

To keep this from happening, I clung to riders with really good judgement (plus an i-phone). To them I owe my life (not exaggerating here, truly!).

For sixty dreamlike days I rode, got lost, got found, got dragged, got peppy, got depressed, got happy and ate foods both real and pretend.

My poops were prodigious, my hiccups sonorous, my sleeps seldom and the rest you can just imagine.  There were times I was commanded to write, the results are here.

When I wasn’t singing (either with Breakfast Crew or by myself) or daydreaming, I was actively un-imagining the freeways, phone poles, silos and roadways, trying to picture the terrain, right down to the flora and fauna (so much of it flattened alongside the road under me) as it was before “discovery”.
Our country and Europe’s culture and technology robbed the first dwellers of their homes, their lives and their culture.
Later,  scholars and artists have attempted to give them their posthumous due….There are so many tribes, but the California coastal Esselen were the latest on my mind…

Will we ever wise up and copy the stewardship, reverence and light livin’ of those innocent earthlings?   Will we ever learn? Will we take our head out of cyberspace and give it a nice ride around the block, around the town, around the county of those people?
Why oh why oh did God not give them bicycles to combat the Spanish?

ARghhhh.

Nearly Home

•August 20, 2009 • 2 Comments

[YouTube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v= 98q8ai8H7CA]