Instant Kiwi

Kiwi in An Hour—a handy Alphabetic dictionary for Singlespeeders at SSWC10 Rotorua

A-     Aotearoa (ow-tea-roah) The Land of the Long White Occupation, er,  Cloud

B-      Bach: weekend cottage. Bludge/bludger = mooch.

Box of birds – to be happy.

Bugger: verb that modifies (in negative direction) nearly everything

C-      Chook = chicken.

Chuffed = glad  Feeling crook=           unwell.

Chur: “yeah”—goes well with “bro”

Choice: Good.

D-      Dairy = convenience store. Dag = sheep feces matted into woolly clumps. “Bit of a dag” = a wag (funny person).  . Dog tucker = horsemeat, or bad food.

E-       Earbash = yell at someone.

F-       Footie = rugby , never soccer

G-      Good as (pron gooDAZZ) = great.  Give it a go = c’mon and try it. Godzone = New Zealand.  Gumboots = rubber boots with a red band.  Other accessories: swandri, black woollen singlet.

H-       Hangi = meal cooked in the ground. Heaps = lots of (pron: hayps)

Hoon, hooning = reckless brat, and their dangerous behaviour.

I-        Iwi =specific tribe– large Maori family group

J-        Jandals = plastic flip-flops

K-      Kumara (KOOmara) = sweet potato Kai=food. Koha = donation, not obligatory.

Kauri (aka Agathis australis = spectacular, ancient tree, nearly expunged thanks to its industrially important sap and timber.  New Zealand’s first fortunes were built from Kauri clearcutting.

L-       Lolly –  candy

L&P: Lemon & Paeroa: a  world famous (in New Zealand) soft drink once made with the local water. Identical to 7-up sans  million dollar advertising budget.

M-    Mince – ground meat.    Marae= maori meeting place. Metalled road =dirt road.

Mint (pron: “munt”)= excellent

N-      Netball = antipodal  version of basketball

O-      Op shop = thrift shop, charity shop, & rock and roll band

P-       Pack a sad = be depressed . Ya plonker = affectionate term for a space cadet.

Pohutukawa (Metrosideros excelsa)= New Zealand Christmas tree—found on the coasts,  with dramatic trunks and branches that recline onto the lonely beaches. Useless for lumber, hence its ubiquity.

Pakeha = non-Maori person.

Pull finger = get started (as in: “pull yr finger out of your ass… and get a move on”.)

Pie (pron, “POY”) = a pastry  often filled with savory stuff like mince (pron. ‘munz’), cheese.

Q. Queen street farmer: businessman with a  ‘lifestyle block”.

R   Rough as guts=things  done badly.

Rattle yer dags: hurry up!

Rarking someone up: rile someone

S   Squiz: a quick look.   Sparrow’s fart =       early  in the morning. Speight’s (pron: SPITES”) a good N.Z. beer–AND generous sponsor of SSWC.

Swandri (pron. ‘swan-dry’)=rough plaid woollen shirt.

Sweet as (see “good as”)  .

S’arvo = this afternoon.   Sealed road = paved road.

T-Tui- native black bird.


Topp Twins = legendary lesbian entertainers

Jools and Lynda Topp (see: Untouchable Girls).

Togs = swimsuit.

Teen = the number ten.

U   Ute = utility vehicle, small dirty farn truck.

V. Vogel’s bread, the only one worth bothering with. Ignore price.

W. Wahine = woman.  Wai = water.  Whakapapa = ancestry (not patricide!)

X (?!)

Y :  Yeh-yeh-no = yes.
Pronunciation tip: to sound truly Kiwi, you must drag “you” and “no” into two syllabled dipthongs.  And knowing German helps a little, too, since the ending syllable is U with an umlaut (double dots) on top. The first syllable  of ‘you’ is pronounced YEH. Thus: YEH-u.  And same for “no”:  NEH-u!

Z- Zealand! 1080% pure! (See: sodium monofluoroacetate, lethal poison dumped willy-nilly in a lame attempt to control rodents, marsupial pests. One of the darker realities of the lovely countryside.

This alphabet is courtesy of OffRhoda Morrison of Matakohe…my very first international racing buddy. “

I am here in NZ thanks to the NDURO team—thanks Dean, Gaz, Dave-Dale-Saul  at Bike Vegas, Jeff at Kiwi bikes, the gang at Bike Culture, and of course the very generous Damon Stewart, my cherished host.

C.   2010 Rotorua, Jacquie Phelan

Price: between  3-5  N.Z. dollars, or a beer at Pig & Whistle!

~ by jacquiephelan on October 16, 2010.

2 Responses to “Instant Kiwi”

  1. Great post! You can’t come home until you fill in the “X”
    xoxo AC

  2. I wonder what ever became of my old swandri my lovely wife gave to me soon after beginning to date

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