Off Rhoda, queen of NZ realtors

Rhoda Morrison is the first Kiwi mountain bike champion, who (along with Dave Whittam, the Kennett Brothers) were putting fat tire bikes to use in the very earliest part of the eighties.

By the time I met Rhoda and Dave at Man V. Horse in Llanwrtyd Wells Wales, they were on their “O.E.” (many New Zealanders take off between school and Real Life to see the world before returning to their country, staying abroad for a year, two years, or in Rhoda’s case, five years). She was a petite 21 year old superathlete that was undeterrable, and extremely funny in a subtle unassuming way.

We were instant friends and I kept vague touch as I learned about her 4 Corners bicycle charity run (four teams of four fanned across the globe raising money for charity back in the late 80’s), her career as a bush pilot, and then she dropped off my radar.

I succeeded in reaching her by snail mail–her old address worked because the current resident contacted her to say “Someone named Jacquie’s coming to visit” and we were back in touch after a decade or more…

So now I’m here at her place, we’ve been out kayaking while the tide was high enough to float us around the peninsula, and we’re gonna have a picnic on the beach with Rho’s bro Ro.

As in: Rowland.

It’s great to be at home with an old friend and meet her business partner Tricia.

“I’ll do my best to disrupt your normal routine, and fumble all the chores you assign me” I promised, while overpouring strong tea and dribbling passionfruit curd on the tablecloth.

May as well just get that out there.

Tall poppies are worthless at being a Fly on The Wall.
They strew red petal-shards and black pollen all over the clean surfaces, and can’t keep their luggage in order…

Tricia is mad about American autos from the 50’s, and able to pull them apart and put them back together again, restore them to perfection, and even knows Someone Who’s Been To Modesto (“where they filmed American Grafitti”) On Pilgrimmage.

She’s got a broad back, the legs of a sprinter and the heart of a broody hen.

When I arrived, they were worried about a baby chick that had been attactked by a nasty rooster with a Napoleon Complex. It was a shivering ball of pearl colored fuzz with patches of hot pink where the ointment had been applied to the wounds. With a day of fussing, warmth, and being carried around by hand (I got to hold it, get pooped on, feel the love) it was able to limp gamely along with its brethren after mum.

My hostesses did the same for me, and after a stupendous fish curry, announced the evening entertainment (there is nothing quite like knowing that you’re going to be Entertained, when visiting a foreign land–all kinds of funny expectations bubble up, and even some fears)

” It’s Required Viewing for all our guests” Tricia said. “But I’m not saying who it is or what it’s about, other than they are our very own cultural treasure”.

And thus it was that the Topp Twins aquired one more adoring fan.
When it comes to a theater near you, check out Untouchable Girls. Or simply google “yodeling lesbian twins”. You will not be disappointed.