Mud Libs a la 42below
WIMPING OUT IS NOT A CRIME.
An abbreviated Breakfast Crew (Bryan Reckamp, Adrianna Too-Longlastname and I) bailed on the Morro Bay-Gaviota leg, and after two hour’s worth of riding, at Grover Beach plus a hefty second breakfast) we purchased tickets from a wall in the un-manned train station.
No, wait, there was a man.
A helpful volunteer in his seventies, who answered our various questions about how to work the machine and if bikes on trains were OK.
Thirty minutes and thirty dollars (apiece) later, the problem of our fatigue was ‘solved’. The train would cut a day’s riding off. The bikes were stashed, and we gleefully grabbed some seats in the uncrowded dining car. The Rosie Ruiz club car.
Bryan suggested playing hangman. I beat him so badly that I suggested we three play a more democratic game: Mud Libs a la Jacqu-pine. You know the one, fill in the blanks and make-a-story. The raunchier, the better.
Here’s what I drafted, and you can play it yourself. It gives a bit of the flavor of our doomed/delightful summer adventure.
“Another 42 below Day”
Dear Diary, What a day! It’s the ___(number)th day of the ____(# between 40 and 50) bike ride, and ____(friend’s name) and I decided to ____(verb) _______(friend’s name) into playing _______(kid’s game) before breakfast. Then the ______(adj) chore of getting ready began:
First, we made sure to have lots of ______(type of food) for the _____(adj) ___(number greater than 40 less than 50) mile trip ahead. By now we all know that the mileage is _______(adjective) and it’s really _____(number above 70) miles we’ll be riding.
For laughs, we flipped a ____(type of coin) to see who would have to load the truck , ____(verb+ing) stuff on their ______(part of body).
Everything worked out great, except the _____(type of conveyance) was ___(number) hours late, and Foster had told us to get to camp by ____(day of the week). Our trip was ___(adj), full of ________(adj) hills and______(adj) descents featuring ___(animal) grates and barbed wire ___(pl. noun). When ____(person named previously) fell off the trail, the other two would ____(type of dance) on his _____(body part).
By ___(time of day) o’clock we’d had enough ____(adj) ______(pl.noun) and were ready to ___(verb) down for the night.
Too bad someone stole our ____(crucial thing to pack) while we were picnicking on____(food) ___(beverage) and ____(type of frolic)ing on the beach earlier in the day.
This meant we had to sleep in our _______(type of clothing) all night with our ____(body part) exposed to the ________(atmospheric phenomenon).
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Dear Diary, What a day! It’s the 14th day of the 42 bike ride, and Elmo and I decided to paint Grover into playing marbles before breakfast. Then the dizzying chore of getting ready began:
First, we made sure to have lots of tofu for the purple 42 mile trip ahead. By now we all know that the mileage is heinous and it’s really 142 miles we’ll be riding.
For laughs, we flipped a Silver Dollar to see who would have to load the truck, painting stuff on their knees.
Everything worked out great, except the skateboard was 6 hours late, and Foster had told us to get to camp by Wednesday. Our trip was lofty, full of short hills and rolling descents featuring kangaroo grates and barbed wire signs. When Elmo fell off the trail, the other two would shimmy on his booty.
By 11 o’clock we’d had enough deceitful daisies and were ready to buckle down for the night.
Too bad someone stole our knee warmers while we were picnicking on lettuce, coffee and bouncing on the beach earlier in the day.
This meant we had to sleep in our fuzzy duds all night with our knees exposed to the hail storm.