True Friendship… SCOTTISH STYLE
Tired of insipid ‘friendship’ poems?
A little bird, well actually, a towering Edinburgh blonde shared this one… a series of promises that mean business.
Be gone, little smiley-faces!
Here’s what Scottish friendship means:
1. When you are sad — I will help you get pissed and plot revenge against the bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue — I’ll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile — I know you’re thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.
4. When you are scared — I will take the piss out of you every chance I get until you’re NOT.
5. When you are worried — I will tell you stories about how much worse it could be until you STOP WHINING!
6. When you are confused — I will try to use only little words.
7. When you are sick — Stay the hell away from me until you are well again.
I don’t want whatever you have.
8. When you fall, I will laugh at you, you clumsy arse,
but I might help you up.
9. This is my oath…. I pledge it to the end. ‘Why?’ you may ask;
Because you are my friend.
Friendship is like pissing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.
You are welcome to pass this on to a dozen of your closest friends,
but don’t get depressed because you can only think of 4 .
P. S. American readers: “get pissed” means to get rather drunk.
“Taking the piss” out of someone means teasing them.
Piss is important. When you hear the word a lot, you’re no longer in England; urine Scotland.